Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
