You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
