I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
