I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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