I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
