That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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