No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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