the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
