Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
