Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
In America we eat man semen.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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