u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
