Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
