mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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