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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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