He asked to "fluff my boner.."
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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