About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
