Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
