Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
