your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The Olympian is in my bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
