I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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