Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
