Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
