Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
