I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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