OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it hurts more in the daytime
even my farts smell like vagina
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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