Just fell off a train. Bad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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