porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
