Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
