I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
