If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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