I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
