Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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