haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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