My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The power of my boobs compel you
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
