i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize