I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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