Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
