So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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