his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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