i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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