i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
