Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
