i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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