Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
