i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
