How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
