I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
