Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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