He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
