It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
