my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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