A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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