He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this beer tastes like vomit already
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
